Thanksgiving 2020

Thanksgiving isn’t just a holiday, it’s a choice to be grateful in all circumstances. It’s a way to live every day. Does that mean we don’t experience sadness, heartbreak, trauma, or grieve our losses? By no means it that what I’m saying.

Our dear friends daughter had planned the wedding of her dreams, only to have to cancel it all. Instead of being a grand affair, she was able to commit her life to her husband in front of God and their immediate families.

This year has not been easy on most of the population of our world. We have all felt the affects of Covid-19 in some way. Our lives have been turned upside down and there are no signs of them returning right side up any time soon. We could dwell on these facts on this, and every day, or we could choose to count our blessings.

Our family has had its fair share of loss this year. We lost my husband’s beloved Uncle Gene. His personality was as big as a mountain. While he came across as a grumpy old man, he had a heart of gold. I am thankful that two years ago I was able to capture a picture of him teaching Dave how to carve the Thanksgiving turkey and for 27 years, I had the blessing of knowing this man.

My sister, Barbara, was hospitalized at the beginning of May for unexplained abdominal pain. However, due to Covid, we were unable to visit her. She was stuck in the hospital for weeks without seeing anyone. She was finally released to go home she wasn’t up for visitors because she was so weak and requested time and space to rest. She ended up only being home for a few days before she was hospitalized again. Within two days of her second stay, she was transferred to UW Medical Center. Two days after being admitted there, my sister, Kristi, and I had a conference call with her. She told us that she had severe liver disease and she was given three months to live. How were we supposed to process this? How were we supposed to tell her children that their mom was going to die? We spent a lot of time franticly trying to get the hospital to allow her 11 year old daughter to see her, because Barbara wanted to be the one to tell her how sick she was. Two days after the news of her prognosis, I received a phone call from one of her doctors that she needed to be intubated and I was her power of attorney so I had to make that call. I knew my sister didn’t want to be on any type of life support, but the doctor made it sound short term. I asked if this was end of life. He said no. I asked him to please get permission for me to bring her kids to see her. We left that afternoon to drive to Seattle. I didn’t know that it would be the last time I would ever see my sister’s beautiful brown eyes. That the day before was the last time I would ever hear her voice. Today, however, I am thankful that I had 46 years worth of memories with this beautiful soul. I am thankful that I had the blessing of leading my sister to Christ. I am thankful that I got to kiss her one last time and that she is now at peace. Something she never found here on earth.

Now, I don’t know where my niece is. My heart is broken because I haven’t seen her since June and I don’t know how to find her.

There have been countless jobs, homes, celebrations, and lives lost this year. I am sad for all of those that have experienced loss of any kind during 2020, but today I am going to celebrate with joy and give thanks with a grateful heart for the blessings amongst the sorrows.