Who Do You See When You Look In The Mirror?
Who do you see when you look in the mirror? I used to see someone who has my eye and hair color, similar facial features, she even had my tattoos and moles. She resembled me but there was a sparkle missing from her eyes. They were kind of dull and sad. Life was good, but there was a piece of me I couldn’t see unless I took the time to look past the shell and into the soul behind my eyes. Just a glance at the woman in the mirror only showed her sad heart and the shell of who she was.
Sure I was happy, life was good. It had also been hard and dark at times. I am a fighter, a force to be reconned with. I dove, head first, into the black hole that was my childhood to heal, and break generational curses. In those times that it was difficult and dark, I began to rely on sugar to get me through. Oh, I have a sweet tooth for sure, cookies, candy and Coca~Cola got me through the day. Ice cream and “treats” got me through the nights.
But while I was fiercely battling depression, anxiety and the generational curses, the effects of all the treats started to emerge.
One day I realized I didn’t even recognize the woman in the mirror. Who was this imposter that had taken over my slender body that everyone always teased me about? Over a period of 20 years, or so, I would start and stop so many different diets and workout programs. None of which had any success in helping me lose the weight that seemed to have taken over.
I have never had any intentions of being the size 2 I once was. I just wanted my outside to match my inside. I wanted to be as strong physically as I had become emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I wanted to break more generational curses. These ones in the form of obesity and poor health. I spent several months working out 6 days a week. Some of those days were just a 3 mile walk. While others included an additional hour long strength training class.
Oh how I loved the feeling of completing a hard workout. I was strong, but still overweight. I was at my wits end when my friend shared that she had started this program and had been having success following it. It seemed that my friend wasn’t on a diet per say but a journey of better health. They both wanted to obtain health so they could be there for their families.
About a month after my friend successfully made it through the holidays without gaining any weight, but in fact had lost weight, I decided to look into it for myself.
It has been an amazing decision. I have lost weight yes, but most importantly, I found myself looking back in the mirror. The woman with eyes that light up a room with their sparkle, the woman who’s outside was finally beginning to match the inside. I can see the muscles I worked so hard for in the gym, and honestly, I feel better than I have felt in a very long time, and that, my friends, is priceless.
